Trepidation

The Word Smith is still on hiatus!  But I am not just writing to say that, today I'm going to dip into something a bit more personal.  Now, I don't typically blog about personal matters and I don't see that changing, but as I am approaching a somewhat major transition point (though whether or not it's a transition to more of a gas or liquid or Bose-Einstein condensate I'm not sure) I felt it might be useful, perhaps even a bit cathartic, to air things out a bit.

You see, right now I'm looking for work.  This after having been (and currently still being) a full-time student for, well, somewhat longer than I'd originally intended.  For a number of reasons I am looking to hopefully finish off the degree as a part-time student, with most of those reasons having to do with money (or, I suppose, the lack thereof) to some degree.  And so I find myself looking for full-time work which is presently the source of no small amount of trepidation.

I suppose that looking for work is seldom (maybe never) a stress-free affair.  While I can't rule out that somebody somewhere might actually enjoy going through interviews, I suspect that such people are few and far between and are perhaps a bit touched.  So a certain amount of stress and jitters is probably a normal part of the job hunt.  That said, I have some concerns that seem like they amplify these feelings:

• This current detour through grad school that I've been taking for longer than intended means I've also been out of the workforce for several years.  While I do have some work experience gained between degrees I nevertheless worry that this break from "real" work puts me at a disadvantage.
• Still not being done the current degree with the (I feel) real possibility that I may simply decide to walk away from it means that I basically have nothing to show for the past several years (well, nothing concrete, anyway) which I again worry puts me at a disadvantage.
• I feel like I probably suffer from Impostor Syndrome which certainly doesn't help to alleviate any concerns I have.
• I seem to have a general lack of confidence (perhaps exacerbated by the fact that I'm still a student at a point in my life when I feel I really shouldn't be anymore)

And while I know that I'm not the only person out there who has these sorts of concerns, it's not a thought that really comforts me or anything.

At the end of the day, I don't know that airing these things on the interwebs does much good, but it is what it is (whatever that means).  I'll muddle through things as best I can and as long as I keep looking and trying I imagine something will turn up sooner or later, though hopefully sooner rather than later.

That is all for now.  I hope the next post will be more light hearted.  Perhaps I'll get around to writing about one of those programming projects I keep meaning to write about.

Freak Out,
-TFitC