Trepidation

The Word Smith is still on hiatus!  But I am not just writing to say that, today I'm going to dip into something a bit more personal.  Now, I don't typically blog about personal matters and I don't see that changing, but as I am approaching a somewhat major transition point (though whether or not it's a transition to more of a gas or liquid or Bose-Einstein condensate I'm not sure) I felt it might be useful, perhaps even a bit cathartic, to air things out a bit.

You see, right now I'm looking for work.  This after having been (and currently still being) a full-time student for, well, somewhat longer than I'd originally intended.  For a number of reasons I am looking to hopefully finish off the degree as a part-time student, with most of those reasons having to do with money (or, I suppose, the lack thereof) to some degree.  And so I find myself looking for full-time work which is presently the source of no small amount of trepidation.

I suppose that looking for work is seldom (maybe never) a stress-free affair.  While I can't rule out that somebody somewhere might actually enjoy going through interviews, I suspect that such people are few and far between and are perhaps a bit touched.  So a certain amount of stress and jitters is probably a normal part of the job hunt.  That said, I have some concerns that seem like they amplify these feelings:

• This current detour through grad school that I've been taking for longer than intended means I've also been out of the workforce for several years.  While I do have some work experience gained between degrees I nevertheless worry that this break from "real" work puts me at a disadvantage.
• Still not being done the current degree with the (I feel) real possibility that I may simply decide to walk away from it means that I basically have nothing to show for the past several years (well, nothing concrete, anyway) which I again worry puts me at a disadvantage.
• I feel like I probably suffer from Impostor Syndrome which certainly doesn't help to alleviate any concerns I have.
• I seem to have a general lack of confidence (perhaps exacerbated by the fact that I'm still a student at a point in my life when I feel I really shouldn't be anymore)

And while I know that I'm not the only person out there who has these sorts of concerns, it's not a thought that really comforts me or anything.

At the end of the day, I don't know that airing these things on the interwebs does much good, but it is what it is (whatever that means).  I'll muddle through things as best I can and as long as I keep looking and trying I imagine something will turn up sooner or later, though hopefully sooner rather than later.

That is all for now.  I hope the next post will be more light hearted.  Perhaps I'll get around to writing about one of those programming projects I keep meaning to write about.

Freak Out,
-TFitC

Wherein I Try to Convince People That They Should Vote

While I imagine the "regular" readership of The Freak Report could be counted on one hand, I wanted to take a moment to talk about the 2015 Canadian Federal election that just kicked off this past weekend.

The short version is this:  if you are an eligible voter, you should make a point of voting in the election.  Seriously.  Do it.  Take a few moments this October and go vote.  Don't make excuses, just go do it.

If that short plea from a random stranger on the internet didn't convince you to go vote, well, consider the following.   (Be sure to read past the next paragraph!)

I can't address all the reasons why someone might choose not to vote, but a common one that I do want to address is that "my vote won't matter."  To this I say... yes and no.  In some sense, it's true that an individual's vote doesn't really matter.  Populations these days are just too large for any one single vote to materially change the outcome.  Without harping on things too much, a single vote is less than 1% of eligible voters - much less than 1%, really - so no, it doesn't really make a whole lot of difference whether any single individual votes or who they vote for.

"But wait", you might say, "aren't you trying to convince people to vote?  Because all this talk of votes not mattering isn't really all that encouraging."  Well, no, not if one looks at things individually.  But when you look at the aggregate, when large segments of the population are underrepresented at the polls, well, that does matter.  And can matter quite a bit. 

There was an article on CBC a while after the 2011 Federal Election which reported on a study that examined the effect of underrepresentation of young voters (defined as being under 30) during that election.  (The article is here for those interested.)  While the election had an overall voter turnout of a little over 60%, the youth turnout was under 40%.  The study found that had the youth turnout been the same as the overall turnout, the results of the election would likely have been much different - notably, the Conservatives would likely not have won a majority.

That article suggests to me that when large swathes of eligible voters choose not to vote, the outcome of the election can change significantly.  So in this sense, whether or not someone votes very much does matter, not as an idividual, but as part of a group.  And this is why I say everyone should make sure to vote.  Because it matters that all segments of the population are represented.  Because groups do have the ability to make a difference for the better.  So go vote.  Don't say it doesn't matter, because it does.  Just go vote.

Lastly, on a personal note, I feel that if someone who is eligible elects not to vote, then they have no right to complain about the outcome.  So if nothing else, vote so you can proudly complain about the results of the election for the next four years or so.

And with that, I shall get down off the soap box and will hopefully return with something more light hearted in my next post, whenever that happens to be.

Freak Out,
-TFitC

Wax Museum

Forgive me as I'm going to wax nostalgic for a moment.  I recently arrived at the end of my sketchbook and decided to commemorate the occasion.  (There are a couple other pictures at the end of the post of one wants to skip over my rambling.)

(Note:  I am not left handed, I was just drawing in front of the mirror (as usual) so it just looks like I'm left handed.  Not that there's anything wrong with being left handed and, in fact, trying to draw left handed might make for an interesting drawing exercise someday.  Anyway...)

Normally I wouldn't do anything special just for reaching the end of a sketchbook, but I thought that this one was something of a special case.  As near as I can tell, I bought the sketchbook sometime in 2008, which means that it's taken around four years to fill it up.  The thing is, approximately two-thirds of the sketchbook has been filled since my resolution on Feb 19, 2012 to start drawing regularly (about two and a half months).  And about half of what came before that was drawn since starting my Word Smith project in late winter/early spring 2011.  I seem to have done very little drawing from 2008-2010 (well, not in my sketchbook, anyway, I still doodled in various notebooks from time to time).  There were only three drawings from 2010.  And much of the 2008-2010 stuff is in an unfinished state.

So for some reason, I basically stopped drawing much, outside of the occasional doodle.  I'm not really sure why.  I drew at least semi-regularly in various sketchbooks during my undergrad and masters years, but then, for reasons lost to the mists of time, essentially stopped.  I suppose work (and other distractions) may have had something to do with it - my first job after graduating was rather soul crushing, after all - though it's also at least partly due to me just not setting aside the time.

Anywho, I'm really glad I've decided to set aside the time to start drawing again.  It's one of those things that I don't think I realized that I missed until I started getting back into it with my comic projects last year.  It's also something that I've been finding to be both enjoyable and rewarding.  And all this is why I decided to do a special commemorative sketchbook entry - it represents a revival, of sorts, of a hobby that I let fall by the wayside.  It also represents the start of a long journey to improve my skills that I've embarked upon and I'm eager to see where it leads.

Well, this is getting all sorts of long winded, so lets move on.  I decided to do another colour drawing to start of my new sketchbook (pencil crayons again) and do something of a landscape, which is also something I don`t do a whole lot of.

It is Kyoujo looking out over her home town of Numor Port.  The idea for the picture was based on an older, simpler drawing I did for the Kyoujo RPG (one of my eternally unfinished projects) which shows a younger version of Kyoujo sitting and reading under a tree, shown below.

And that is the end of this rather long post.  The next one probably won`t be quite so wordy.

Freak Out,
-TFitC